Thursday, March 22, 2007

Stress related rash and fever - do you believe?

If you had read my couple of post back, you would know that I was going through a really stressful period of time in Thailand. I think the worst thing that can happen to me is when I feel like I'm being wronged. It really ate me up.

During the worst periods of time during my trip in Thailand, my face would flush such a deep red in anger that my colleagues thought that I was going to have a sudden heart attack or die of high blood pressure. I knew I was really angry but did not know the impact that it was having on my body, I disregarded all the body symptoms that came with the stress.

I was so unhappy and the thought kept growing in my mind and though I didn't know it, people around me could hear me sign and occasionally, while I'm deep in thoughts, my face would turn a sudden deep red.

My mum could tell that something was really wrong the moment she heard my voice. And she flew down to Bangkok to make sure I would be okay. (Sigh! Aren't mum just great?) I tried to pretend everything was OK during the day but at the nights, I would get nightmares of endless, awful meetings and each time my heart would sink with disappointment or pound with frustration.

And then.............. I fell really really ill. It started off with a slight fever that came on and off. I ignored it and carried on at work and then in the evening, by the time I got back into the hotel room, an ugly rash had broken out all over my right arm. I tried to ignore it and continued to work on the computer trying to finish the work that I had to do and then the rash started to spread. over to the rest parts of the body. Feverish with bouts of diarrohea, I decided to call it a night and rest early and amazingly the rash stop spreading.

The next morning I had a meeting before heading to the airport and was really stressed by the time I boarded the plane and then I notice the rash had started to spread again. This time onto my face. I tried to sleep on the plane and calm myself with happy thoughts.

But when I landed in Singapore, I was in the car when my boss called me and after an hour of discussion, I felt more sick than ever. That very evening I had an asthma attack.

You might be wondering why I'm telling you all this. Well, I wanted to share with you that my doctor told me that when we get stressed, it lowers our immune system and allow our body to become more susceptible to viruses and bacterias. And though he believe that the rash is definitely stress related, the fever was due to the body fighting off some unknown virus.

I'm still having very bad diarrohea problems but this gave me quite a lot of time to think about my life and what I really want. I still think we need to work really hard at our jobs because we are paid to do the work but definitely not at the cost of my health. Still its easier said then done because though I'm on 2 days MC, I've been working all day today and tomorrow I will be going into the office for a few meetings.

This experience has made me a true believer that stress can do all those awful things to your mental health, physical health and its just not worth it. Really need to manage it better. The rash is clearing up with the medication but I had another bad dream. Some things are just out of our control. ..................


Recite to myself 20 times a day.


人家气我, 我不气
我若生气, 中他计
我不生气, 他更气
其实何必, 来生气
气来气去, 没乐趣
何不笑笑, 消消气
解开心结, 让他去

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Vera says hi..

When I"m feeling blue...all i have to take a look at you...then I'm not so blue....lalalala

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Blackberry going Ku-Ku

I was overjoyed when I received my FIRST blackberry. With its push email capability, it meant that I could check my emails anytime and anywhere. Oh what a wonderful technology.

We became quickly as one, my blackberry and I, a marriage made in heaven.

"We would never be darling...I promise you ....." I would whisper into its ears in the middle of the night and when I woke up in the morning, my blackberry would be the first thing I check on. "Are you all right my darling, any messages for me? You always have my utmost attention" I swore my undying love.

And then blackberry got sick. Slowly at temperamental darling restarted ALWAYS in the middle of the most important calls. And alas, the sickness got worse and it happened more and more often and I had to carry mistress "samsung" with me....for the calls.

Recently, blackberry's "memory lapses" continues and it "stutters" and hangs every now and then. I'm normally quite calm when my blackberry does that, I will live with the good times and the bad, I thought to myself. Holding it in my hands, I patiently await for it to resume to normal and then check my emails again.

But now, as I'm blogging this, my blackberry has restarted 8 times and is still continuing to do so.....just lying on the table its going totally KU-KU on me.

I'm not so calm anymore....not now and especially today. Goodbye blackberry, we need to break up.....I'm sad that our union lasted only the year.

*Jme shoves the blackberry under the bed* Bloooooody annoying light.....

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Frustrating day at work - grumbles from a Lady MisJustice

Had a pretty frustrating day at work today. Really hate it when people make arguments NOT based on facts. Really hate it when things are pretty obvious but due to all sorts of reasons, people choose not to act on it. SURE, we can grit our teeth and work like hell for the superficial make a shitty situation less shitty but we can never expect to solve the issue if we don't address the root cause. Crap is still crap. And I won't deny it any more. Simply put, look, if I write an email to *you* and *you* don't make any comments on it, don't blame me if I don't know what is on *your* mind. I'm not a mind-reader and most importantly, not *your* mind reader. Now I understand why people tell me they can't work with *you*, I know I can't.

The world would be alot easier if everyone work together as one to make the world a better know, no hidden agenda. If people would just listen to one another. But of course, I know this will never happen, can never happen. Its only idealistic thoughts and wishful thinking. I only need to read the newspaper to know that I'm not alone with such troubles. The world is full of "complications".

On a lighter note, without really bad days...we cannot fully appreciate the good ones. Without difficult situations like this, we will never learn to become stronger persons. I will survive whatever it may be and because my conscience is clear, *you* may think what *you* will of me. I'm not bending backwards anymore.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Nice Song - 瞳をとじて

作詞: 平井堅 作曲: 平井堅

朝目覚める度に 君の抜け殻が横にいる
ぬくもりを感じた いつもの背中が冷たい

苦笑いをやめて 重いカーテンを開けよう
眩しすぎる朝日 僕と毎日の追いかけっこだ

あの日 見せた泣き顔 涙照らす夕陽 肩のぬくもり
消し去ろうと願う度に 心が 体が 君を覚えている

Your love forever
瞳をとじて 君を描くよ それだけでいい
たとえ季節が 僕の心を 置き去りにしても

いつかは君のこと なにも感じなくなるのかな
今の痛み抱いて 眠る方がまだ いいかな

あの日 見てた星空 願いかけて 二人探した光は
瞬く間に消えてくのに 心は 体は 君で輝いてる

I wish forever
瞳をとじて 君を描くよ それしか出来ない
たとえ世界が 僕を残して 過ぎ去ろうとしても

Your love forever
瞳をとじて 君を描くよ それだけでいい
たとえ季節が 僕を残して 色を変えようとも

記憶の中に君を探すよ それだけでいい
なくしたものを 越える強さを 君がくれたから

Ella Fitzgerald - Bewitched!

After one whole quart of brandy
Like a daisy, Im awake
With no bromo-seltzer handy
I dont even shake

Men are not a new sensation
Ive done pretty well I think
But this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink

Im wild again, beguiled again
A simpering, whimpering child again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i

Couldnt sleep and wouldnt sleep
When love came and told me, I shouldnt sleep
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i

Lost my heart, but what of it
He is cold I agree
He can laugh, but I love it
Although the laughs on me

Ill sing to him, each spring to him
And long, for the day when Ill cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i

Hes a fool and dont I know it
But a fool can have his charms
Im in love and dont I show it
Like a babe in arms

Loves the same old sad sensation
Lately Ive not slept a wink
Since this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink

Ive sinned a lot, Im mean a lot
But Im like sweet seventeen a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i

Ill sing to him, each spring to him
And worship the trousers that cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i

When he talks, he is seeking
Words to get, off his chest
Horizontally speaking, hes at his very best

Vexed again, perplexed again
Thank god, I can be oversexed again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i

Wise at last, my eyes at last,
Are cutting you down to your size at last
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more

Burned a lot, but learned a lot
And now you are broke, so you earned a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more

Couldnt eat, was dispeptic
Life was so hard to bear
Now my hearts antiseptic
Since you moved out of there

Romance, finis. your chance, finis.
Those ants that invaded my pants, finis.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered

Love the way he sang this song. Went out to buy Ella Fitzgerald CD after I watched this show and realized that I liked her whole CD!!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Family......Goodbye Gua-gong!

My grandfather had an acute heart attack and passed away on March 1st at 4.10am. He was 73 years old. I remember him as the "kung-fu" master always teaching me ways to protect myself and telling me that I need to take care of myself when I'm travelling.

My grandfather is a traditional chinese man. As master of the house, he always seemed very stern and would keep to himself. However, a few months ago, after my grandmother suffered a mild stroke, the family members grew closer and he started making greater efforts to share his thoughts and feelings to his family. Yet, now ...............

Many people came to the funeral and I learnt that he was a very well-loved and respected man. It was obvious that he was the one that people came to when they were troubled and he never failed to do his best to help out. Everyone had great difficulty accepting the harsh reality that he is gone because he had always been a very fit and healthy man.

Working together for the funeral service, the family grew closer. Even my 6 year old cousin, Nicia, played her part. We all took turns to collect donations, ensure that the incense is always lit, burn sacrifical tokens, talk to the visitors and watching the funeral site on a 24 hour basis. Most of us feel very tired and some are on the verge of falling sick but all of us still try our best and push on. I must say that it is during this period of time, that we have all stepped back from our daily lives and really started to communicate with each other. Within these few days, I haven gotten to see my relatives in a different light.

Last night, a few of us were doing the "night shift", watching the place till wee hours of the morning. (Before my uncles took over in the next shift). Most of us were so tired but we all jumped up at 4am when we heard shouts of a robbery. My uncles and brother rushed out to see if they could help. Jean called the police and they came shortly but were unable to find anything. After that excitement, most of us had less difficulty to keep awake and started chatting and exchanging interesting stories and experiences.....(I must have overtired myself because I'm down with a slight flu and very bad sore throat and they've sent me home to rest)

Personally, I've learnt alot from this unfortunate incident and am also very touched by the people who came to the wake to pay their respects. It really helped the family members who have suffered such a loss by giving that much additional support. I am also especially touched by my colleagues who pooled together to make donations (some of whom I hardly even talk to) and arranging for the office to send a wreath to my grandpa's funeral. (Special thanks to Glenn).

I have been reminded that life is short and that we need to make use of whatever time we have to let the people around us know that we treasure them and love them before it is too late.

Gua-gong, we will miss you.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Chinese Sign and Element

The Chinese zodiac is a cycle of twelve Chinese years placed under the signs of the twelve following symbolic animals: Rat, Buffalo (or Ox), Tiger, Cat (or Rabbit or Hare), Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat (or Sheep or Ram), Monkey, Rooster, Dog, Pig (or Boar).

Chinese years also evolve in cycles of ten years each. Every set of two consecutive years is governed by a Chinese cosmic element. There are five elements in all: Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, Water.

Find out what is yours on this website. All you have to do is key in your birthday.

As for me, I'm a Earth-Goat. :) Also known as "Clay" Goat.
Boon, you are a Water Pig. (Thank goodness you did not become a Fire Pig, aka Roasted Pig)

Passed my Jap Exam..........

Something came in the post today.....*drum rolls* its my score report for my JLPT which stands for japanese language proficiency test.

Jamie's JLPT Score Report
Writing Vocab: (95/100) <- ABit disappointed because I thought I ACED it
Listening: (76/100) <- Super happy because I thought I had FAILED this paper. I couldn't hear what the damn radio was playing from the end of the room. (was sitting way at the back and on the side) hehe...that's an excuse, my listening is really damn kurang MAXIMUM so I know I got to work on that. So happy so happy i Passed.
Reading Grammar (170/200) <-K lah, couldn't remember the essay anymore.

So GRAND TOTAL IS 341/400.
That means PASSED! PASSED! PASSED! 合格! 合格! 合格!
Okay lar...considering the amount of effort I put in for my Jap paper....VELLIE GOOD ALREADY THAT I CAN PASS LOR!

So I should still be going for the next paper at the end of this year. Hope I can still be so lucky. *fingers crossed* Need to improve on my listening tho...its really baddddddddddddd - a fine excuse to watch more japanese drama serial *drroooolsss*. hehe.

Treasure every minute and second of your life....

This is a slightly depressing blog so proceed with caution.

Shocker 1: A couple of days ago, my grand uncle passed away.

Shocker 2: This morning, my grandfather had a major heart attack. He is currently in ICU, in an induced coma and in a critical situation.

Actually I am not sure how I'm feeling inside anymore. People try to comfort me and tell me what is important is to make use of the time that you have to show the people around you that you love them - to treasure your friends and family when they are still around before their time is up ...or your time is up....well...erm....okay, soooooo just in case I don't get this message to you on time, I just want to let you guys know that I really love you and I wish we could have spent more time together and I wish you well and oh yeah, treasure your family and friends every min
and sec of your life before old age, sickness, and death comes up and smacks you in the blarrrrddyy face. Nothing is certain in life except death and taxes.

And hmm...yes, smoke less - (if at all) and erm...remember to be a nicer person with a clean
conscience. I can't stress that enough: Remember to be a better nicer person.