If you had read my couple of post back, you would know that I was going through a really stressful period of time in Thailand. I think the worst thing that can happen to me is when I feel like I'm being wronged. It really ate me up.
During the worst periods of time during my trip in Thailand, my face would flush such a deep red in anger that my colleagues thought that I was going to have a sudden heart attack or die of high blood pressure. I knew I was really angry but did not know the impact that it was having on my body, I disregarded all the body symptoms that came with the stress.
I was so unhappy and the thought kept growing in my mind and though I didn't know it, people around me could hear me sign and occasionally, while I'm deep in thoughts, my face would turn a sudden deep red.
My mum could tell that something was really wrong the moment she heard my voice. And she flew down to Bangkok to make sure I would be okay. (Sigh! Aren't mum just great?) I tried to pretend everything was OK during the day but at the nights, I would get nightmares of endless, awful meetings and each time my heart would sink with disappointment or pound with frustration.
And then.............. I fell really really ill. It started off with a slight fever that came on and off. I ignored it and carried on at work and then in the evening, by the time I got back into the hotel room, an ugly rash had broken out all over my right arm. I tried to ignore it and continued to work on the computer trying to finish the work that I had to do and then the rash started to spread. over to the rest parts of the body. Feverish with bouts of diarrohea, I decided to call it a night and rest early and amazingly the rash stop spreading.
The next morning I had a meeting before heading to the airport and was really stressed by the time I boarded the plane and then I notice the rash had started to spread again. This time onto my face. I tried to sleep on the plane and calm myself with happy thoughts.
But when I landed in Singapore, I was in the car when my boss called me and after an hour of discussion, I felt more sick than ever. That very evening I had an asthma attack.
You might be wondering why I'm telling you all this. Well, I wanted to share with you that my doctor told me that when we get stressed, it lowers our immune system and allow our body to become more susceptible to viruses and bacterias. And though he believe that the rash is definitely stress related, the fever was due to the body fighting off some unknown virus.
I'm still having very bad diarrohea problems but this gave me quite a lot of time to think about my life and what I really want. I still think we need to work really hard at our jobs because we are paid to do the work but definitely not at the cost of my health. Still its easier said then done because though I'm on 2 days MC, I've been working all day today and tomorrow I will be going into the office for a few meetings.
This experience has made me a true believer that stress can do all those awful things to your mental health, physical health and its just not worth it. Really need to manage it better. The rash is clearing up with the medication but I had another bad dream. Some things are just out of our control. ..................
No comments:
Post a Comment